I’m thankful to Matthew Vett for his nomination for One Lovely Blog Award. I’m not much for rules, so I’ll just blow a kiss in his direction.
Then this morning I saw these terrific questions asked by LSAM of her nominees for another award. I’m not one of them but I decided to swipe them so I’d have something to write about. Don’t judge.
1. Describe your last sexual experience in 3 words.
Felt pretty good.
2. What did you think about last time you masturbated?
I thought about YOU. Yeah, you.
3. What’s your number one hard limit, no exceptions?
Pets, poop, podiatry. (Don’t touch my feet, is what I’m saying.)
4. What’s the easiest/quickest way for you to get off?
Middle & ring fingers of my right hand massaging my clit, with lube.
5. What movie, not porn, do you find the most arousing?
I’m not really turned on by many movies, certainly nothing that immediately pops to mind. Books – now, that’s where it’s at. Outlander, AMIRITE?
6. If you had to have, or do have, a fetish, what is it?
I don’t have a fetish, but I wish I could get off while simply being over-the-knee spanked/fingered.
7. Anal sex… you like it or no?
Not like – LOVE, when done properly, given or received.
And the bonus paragraph of erotica… The prompts include: a kiwi, a sharp knife, an erection and an orgasm.
(I’m absolute rubbish at this kind of writing. Be kind.)
“My dvd of Flight of the Conchords got here in the mail today… you want to watch some with me?” I didn’t wait for an answer before I slit the stupid cellophane surrounding the box with my pocketknife. “Sure. As long as we can watch that episode where they sing about business socks & recycling.” We settle in to watch with my head in his lap. We laugh together at all the same bits. All too quickly, it’s over. “I guess it’s Business Time, then.” My hand finds his cock through his jeans and I realize that my hot breath has gotten him somewhat aroused. Not quite a full erection yet, but I’ll fix that. I lower his zipper and fish out his lengthening dick. Just this action has accomplished quite a bit. He twitches in my hand as I lick him all over. “Slower. I’m going to make you work hard for my orgasm, sweetie.” Well, then.
{If you don’t have a clue how I worked kiwi into the above paragraph, please watch the below clip.}
