changes

Ok, you sexy things… my sexual likes and dislikes are changing. I don’t know particularly why, either. I used to be brought to the edge of orgasm simply by M touching my nipples. And now I can barely stand the sensation, unless he is firmly massaging my tits at the same time. Light touch makes me want to scream, and not in a good or pleasant way. I used to need more time before he went for my cunt with his fingers, now it’s the first thing I want him to do – rubbing my outer labia is an immediate ticket to arousal. But not inside – I need to be really wet first.

Has anyone else had their physical responses change like this? Is it a product of getting older (I’m 35)? Is it all tied into the state of our marriage? It seems like if it were age-related it’d have been more gradual; this feels quite sudden. There doesn’t appear to be correlation between my differing responses and where I am hormonally.

I think most of my distress regarding this comes from the fact that I need to do better about telling M these things. If I don’t, next time he goes for my nipples straight away I’m likely to have a bad reaction, like I still sometimes do when my sides and back are touched too lightly. And that’s just all kinds of unfair to both of us.

all good.

We lay together on the couch, watching Doctor Who. I get up to get a drink, and during that time he hits pause, and opens up V&R’s tumblr (one of our absolute favorites). I lay on top of him and we start the kind of making out that is the fucking best – groping, deep tongue kisses, pressing our bodies together like our lives depend on it. First my shirt comes off, then my pants. After I kiss my way down his body, I loosen his belt, slide his shorts down, and lick his balls while he strokes his cock.

Gah, that’s making me hot, just writing about it.

Things progressed rather thoroughly from there. So thoroughly that we collapsed together onto the bed after he came deep inside my ass.

******

I told my counselor today that I feel very peaceful these days. Apparently the currently effective recipe is a combination of prayer, yoga, Paxil, and counseling. We went over my habits of conflict management, and soon M & I will have a conversation about how I can address the shortfalls I have in that area. I don’t know exactly where this place we’re in is, but I’m glad we’re here. It’s all good.

******

I leave you with this. Because I can.

summary

What I’m saying is, it’s been too many days since we last fucked and I am kind of dying for it. Hope that clears up any ambiguity.

brief

I’ve just turned on the burners, reheating leftover homemade veggie-sausage soup for dinner. M comes home and I greet him with a kiss, which suddenly gets deep and intense. For once the kids aren’t circling our legs like insistent puppies looking for attention, and so I find my back pushed against the sink as he kisses me deeper. Boobs are groped. His hand slides down the front of my jeans to feel my rapidly ready parts.

I break it off, tell him to turn the stove off, and then we’re in the bedroom. Door locked, my pants & undies hit the floor. For his work he carries a crap-ton of stuff on his belt & in his pockets, which crashes down as he undoes his clothing. As I lay down on my back on the edge of the bed, he’s looking at me the way I like him to look at me.

On my back, over onto my front.

Up onto the bed now, until I spasm around him, keeping quiet. Not sure what the kids think about our noises at their ages.

He stands back up, and I take him into my mouth until he splatters onto my tits. I get cleaned up, and go back into the kitchen to turn the stove back on.

Now we’re cooking.

M speaks

A: I haven’t posted in a while. What should I write about?

M: How I’m gonna give it to you up the ass tonight.

A: Really?

M: Yeah, after I tie you to the bed and spank you so hard you can’t sit down tomorrow. Then I’ll put clothespins on your nipples.

A: NO WAY. [to the clothespins, not the tying up and/or spanking.] Hey, can I interview you?

M: No.

A: Come on! Who is the sexiest person ever?

M: I’m not doing an interview with you.

A: Why not?

M: Fine. Uh… (long pause) I… I don’t know who the sexiest person ever is. Me?

A: What have we done recently that you’ve really liked?

M: Made you squirt.
[I forgot to add in this post that there was a HUGE wet spot on the bed after I came while he was eating me out. *glows with pride*]

A: What are you looking forward to trying next?

M: Woman.

A: Can you elaborate?

M: A second woman.

A: What do you hope she looks like?

M: That she has beautiful eyes and huge knockers.

A: What, mine aren’t big enough for you?

M: No, yours are plenty fine. Really that she’s not 51.
[the woman we thought might work out from CL turned out to be 51, past our preferred age range of 25-45]

A: What if I want to see you fuck her?

M: That’s fine.

A: Do you have a hard-on right now?

M: Give me 30 seconds and I can.

A: Do you have any questions for me?

M: Uh, no? Maybe? I guess… I’ll come back to that.

A: When?

M: I’ll have to check my daytimer.

A: But I thought I was your secretary? You’re totally sleeping with your secretary.

M: Yeah.

A: It’s like you work for Sterling Cooper Draper Price.

M: (long pause) What? Okay.

I probably shouldn’t interview him during a baseball game.

********edit********

M: Wait, you don’t have any more questions?

A: You seemed to be done. I already published.

M: It was a statement, not a question.

A: Ok, If you could only do one sexual thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

M: Oh, good Lord. Uh… receive blowjobs.

A: Well, that’s predictably male answer.

M: Well, it’s not gonna be masturbation!

A: Well, what if I’m dead?

M: I didn’t specifically say I’d get them from you.

A: You’re so sweet.

M: Yes. I mean, it would be from you until you die. Plan on doing that anytime soon?

A: Not if I can help it, dear. If you could pick any man alive to have sex with, who would it be?

M: I’ve never really thought about it. (very long pause) I don’t think there’s an answer to that question.

A: Hmmm. Have you ever had a crush on any of our friends?

M: I don’t want to say crush, but… I don’t know.

A: Let me put it this way…

M: (predicting what I was about to ask) Did I ever want to *do* any of our friends? I guess I was somewhat interested in S—— and then I was a little interested in K—–, and then I lost interest, but then I saw her <doing an activity I DETEST but that he loves> and then I thought I want to kidnap her and run away to Belize. Plus she cuddles with her husband.

A: We cuddle. [We do!!]

M: Yes.

A: How come you never told me about thinking they were hot?

M: It seems obvious not to tell your wife that. I don’t think they’re hot, there was just this… ok… I think it’s human nature or male nature to go, ok, to judge… I don’t know, I can’t really… [the ballgame has obviously gotten his attention again.]

A: What if we did end up going to a swingers club and there was a couple we were both attracted to? How would you feel about the guy fucking me in front of you?

M: As long as I could do his wife… As long as I get to fuck her and you suck my cock when I come.

A: I am on board with that plan. Would you ever want to have a threesome with another man? What if I really wanted to?

M: I guess it’d be all right. But it’d have to be J—– (his gay co-worker).

A: Aha! I knew there was a man you’d fuck. But I guarantee it’d be easier to find a man for a threesome than a woman.

M: Yeah, but, I’m not interested.

A: You just said you were!

M: We’d have to be really selective.

A: Well, obviously.

M: Where else are you gonna find a man who looks as good as me?

A: One thing I’ve always loved about you is your modesty.

M: It is my best quality.

A: I came up with that joke a hundred years ago and you know it. Hey, for someone who didn’t want to be interviewed, you sure are having fun answering.

M: What can I say, I’m a talker. Is that a question?

A: No. You sure you don’t have any questions for me?

M: Have you met a girlfriend yet?

A: No. You’d know it if I had. Well, there was that woman at the lesbian bar who gave me her earrings.

M: That was kinda weird.

A: You’re telling me.

M: Is that somebody you would have potentially hooked up with?

A: Maybe. She had a lot of issues, though. I guess I attract people with issues. [referring of course to last summer's failed attempt]
Ok, I’ll close this interview by telling you I love you.

M: I want to know what sort of sexual activity would you like to experience next.

A: Same as you. I want to lick pussy.

M: If you could pick one vegetable to have sex with, which would it be?

A: Zucchini. Or a peach.

M: Peaches are very sexy.

A: Yeah, but they’re not vegetables. Whoops.

M: Minor detail.

A: Anything else?

M: I wouldn’t mind – I don’t know if I want *you* giving it to me up the ass while I’m fucking another woman, or if I want another woman fucking me while I fuck you? Or if I just want you to do it by yourself. Or if I want a man to do it. I don’t think so, though. I just like cleavage a lot. A LOT.

A: (laughing for a long time)

M: So I don’t think I want that.

A: This post is now over 1100 words. Way longer than most of my posts.

M: That’s what you said about my dick, too.

A: That doesn’t make any sense.

*****and…  scene*****

smooth

One day last week I had some time. So I took some time. When I trim up my pubes it takes several steps. First I get out the clippers. #1 all over. Then the wax strips on the edges in the front and the strays on my inner thighs. After that I sit on the edge of the tub with a mirror, shaving cream, and razor. The tub has to be full with about 4 inches of fairly warm water.  And then begins the laborious task of shaving. I really wish this process resulted in longer-lasting hairlessness. But professional waxing is expensive, I can’t reach or see well enough to wax it all myself, and M has – so far – decided he’s not interested.

ANYWAY.

Hours later, M came home from work. I had to run out for a couple of hours, but he grabbed me for a hug in the bedroom. He turned me around face down on the bed, pulled my pants down and took his cock out. As he slid into me from behind, I decided to take charge. He was fully pressed against me, so I turned my head slightly to speak.

“While I’m gone I want you to shave your beard,” I say.

“What?” He’s surprised. I’m surprised, too. I’ve been known to body block him from the razor, I love him with a beard so much. But it just came out.

“Shave it all, and then I want you to eat my pussy until I come.”

“Ok.”

We fuck a little longer and then I have to go.

When I return, he’s done it. It’s been almost 2 years since M was clean-shaven. It’s such a startling difference. Sex with a stranger.

That night he licks me so hard and has his fingers in so deep that I come on his face. This is unusual. But we both like how smooth the other one is. His tongue kept the right pressure and speed on my clit. His fingers were deep in my pussy, pressing upward slightly on what I guess is my g-spot. It felt amazing.

Kissing him afterwards was MUCH more pleasant with him shaven than with a beard. He fucked me some more and then shot his come all over my tits.

 

power shift

I’m laying in bed with a book. A trashy, steamy romance novel. M comes in the room. “I think I found you a girlfriend.”

He asks me to come out to look at these emails he’s been sending back & forth with a girl he found on CL. He’s lied about our ages since she was looking for people older than we are. I highly doubt I can pull off being 36. I barely look 30, or so I’m told. But she’s good looking, has great photos, seems to be able to write an email without shortening you to u and are to r.

I tell him I’d like to talk to her myself, he thinks that’s a good idea. She is also married but was looking for a couple to play with, and her husband might eventually join in. Again, I’m kind of surprised that M is interested in this scenario, but I’ll go with it.

He puts my hand on his crotch. He’s getting hard, just thinking about what we might do with her. I remind him I’m not up for much action right now, but I’ll give him a handjob. “With tongue,” I add. I assist him in removing his shorts and boxers, and up springs his enormous cock, ready for me. Ready for her, too, it appears. I lay across his lap, licking the head of it gently. The skin is silky on the shaft, and when I wrap my hand around him, my thumb & middle finger don’t touch.

Kneeling on the floor on a pillow, I start working a bit harder. My shirt & bra come off and as I raise up to kiss his mouth, the space between my tits is filled with cock. As it should be.

When we get to the bed, he stands beside it and I lay down so he can fuck my mouth. After a bit he asks me to get the lube and vibrator. M’s ass is mine tonight. He bends over the bed and I pour lube down his crack. As I work one finger in, I reach below with a lubed up hand and stroke his cock and balls. I find myself bending over him, almost as if I were fucking him from behind. I glance over to the mirror, which he sees me do. “You like this, don’t you?” he asks. “I do.”

I’ve gotten the vibe in now, and am pushing it in and pulling it out as fast as I can manage with the lubed up hands. He is moaning in a totally new way. He wants to stand back up, and so I lay down, reaching my hand between his legs to fuck his ass with the vibrator and using my other hand to stroke his cock over and over. As he comes he groans and lets loose an enormous amount onto my tits. After a few seconds, he takes the vibe into the bathroom, washes it and his hands, and collapses back onto the bed. “How was that?” I ask. “We’ll talk about it later. Too soon,” he mumbles and he instantly falls asleep.

 

perfect storm

I’ve probably used that as a post title before, but honestly? I don’t care enough to go check. Deal with it.

As you might be guessing, I’ve not been in tip-top shape. I’m hormonal, depressed, and overwhelmed. It’s two weeks until my would-have-been-due date. I’ve not been to the gym in a week because of a foot injury. I haven’t made time to talk to Reed. I’ve barely done any studying. I’m in minimal power mode, and I’ve only got enough juice to operate the basic systems at the moment. I’m pretty sure I’ve been shitty to M. I think I’m doing okay with my kids but I might not be seeing too clearly.

If I don’t list the good stuff I’ll feel like a total bitch clicking ‘publish.’

• there’s been a few occasions for sexy sex. Good sexy sex.
• my friends Jane & Mark have confessed they like to hug me so often because they get good boob contact from me. Happy to oblige.
• I have jelly beans. Good ones. I’m going to eat some in the next 5 minutes.

(Don’t you guys agree that this [beyond ridiculous] post is totally e-lust worthy? *headdesk*)

be prepared

I just decided to hug M last night after he got home. I was feeling good, no sense in prolonging the tension. Nothing’s resolved, not much has changed, except the general mood in the house. That’ll have to be enough for now.

We woke up at 3:30am, had an amazing fuck that ended with him drilling his cock into my ass. I know, I’m shaking my head at us, too.

Anyway, the chorus of this song pretty much sums it up.

wait, what?

So, the date. After a bunch of miscommunication, we finally got a sitter for Friday night. It wasn’t someone who we could have had spend the night, so mega-uber-super-awesome date night will have to wait for another time. I can’t tell you what we did, since that will tell you where and who we are; but it was great. There was free wine, let me just throw that out there. We got home, paid the sitter, and quite rapidly found ourselves undressed and fucking furiously.

The next day, as we nursed our tired, hungover bodies, we sat next to each other on the couch. Out of the blue, M says maybe we should go to <insert name of swingers club one city over here> sometime.

*record scratching*

A swingers club? Us? Later on we looked at the website, which is pretty detailed and user friendly for newbies. I’m not sure we’d EVER get to a point of doing any kind of swapping, but he did point out it might be a good place to finally satisfy my lady-lust. We’ll see. But the conversation got started, and almost all our conversation on just about any topic since has been more open, productive, and healthy. That’s a nice side-effect.

And last night we made out like teenagers on the bed and then I gave him a hand- and tit-job. We almost never ‘just’ do that kind of thing. Is this yet another fresh start? Time will tell.