Well, I’m leaving tomorrow for 8 days, sans M, so obviously sans fucking. I won’t even have a minute to myself to sneak in a quick orgasm, so you can imagine the state in which I’ll return. Here’s a good long post to tide you over…
Man, I love Reed’s comment about which version of M I wake up to. It’s so, so true.
After an icy day and night with M, he finally decided to approach me and give me a hug before bed. I acquiesed and returned the hug, which felt good and loving. I went to bed still thinking he might approach me for sex, but he did not. This morning he discovered what I was wearing (nothing) and very, very quickly got me so turned on I couldn’t have resisted even if I wanted to. If he’d kept up what he was doing with his hands and mouth I would have come in about 1 more minute. I really wanted to feel his cock though, and so I pulled him up to me, onto me, into me.
Orgasm washed over me in seconds. It was amazing. And then I burst into tears.
Nice, eh? Gah, I was so emotional. Like, way-over-the-top bawling. He got off of me and laid beside me, holding me as much as I’d let him. (When I cry, I hate to be touched when it’s the sobbing, shaking part, I cover my face and turn away for that. I’ll snuggle in when it’s the sniffling, wiping eyes dry stage.) I told him again how I’d felt the other night when he rejected me – how I felt totally unattractive, that it was another way to show me how awful I’d been for the first years of our marriage, that I just ache to feel wanted. He listened, reassuring me in all the right ways, stroked my hair and back and face. I laid it out and told him how I hate it when we have these crazy swings from total bliss to total shit. He was wonderful, making me face him so he could look me in the eye and tell me he loved me.
We hugged and laid there for a long time. I asked him for something I haven’t ever asked for before, but that has been bothering me forever – every morning it seems like I get a quick peck of a kiss before I leave, as if 10 seconds would be too much time to spare to send us off feeling loved. I asked him to kiss me for longer, because if we can’t spare 10 seconds for each other, God, what are we doing? He agreed, and then joked that perhaps I could wake him up with a 10 second kiss on his cock. In the spirit of fulfilling requests, he got quite a bit more than 10 seconds of kisses. I rolled over and guided his cock into me, pussy still soaked from earlier. I laid down flat and he stroked my back and ass while we rocked together. He pushed me back, off of him and turned me onto my front, pulling me to the edge of the bed, to our favorite spot. He got back into my pussy and reached for the lube, working his fingers into my ass. Before I knew it, he was pushing his cock into my ass, slowly but with purpose. Fuck, it felt amazing. I put the vibrator on the bed under my clit and he went to town on me. The way he grabs my shoulders and hips when we’re like this is so hot. I just wish I could see his arm muscles working as he does it. He finally shoved hard into me, coming with a groan and falling onto me. I never wanted his cock to leave me.
I needed this so, so much. I need it again and again. He’s like a drug.
We talked for another little while and then got up for the day. I had some trip preparations to take care of and obviously the kids needed attention. He saw me getting dressed, noticed my underwear (there wasn’t much to notice, if you get my meaning) and came up to me while I was standing at the sink (something I’d told him earlier that I liked especially) and told me he wanted to take it off of me tonight. Now THIS is what I have been wanting!
Right before dinner I was packing my bags and he went over to the computer, put on Peter, Paul, & Mary’s “Leavin’ On A Jet Plane.” Goofy, I know, but it got to me, and we danced. “Every song I sing, I sing for you…” I sang along to him, with my head on his chest. It’s true, I don’t open my mouth to sing when he’s in the room without it being directed at making him fall deeper in love with me. I feel so much better about leaving him this way. I feel so much better.