reunified

I’ve been away, visiting some family for a bit. Before I left, M was sick with something that interrupted our sex life for a bit. And right before he was sick, I had my period. So last night after I got back into town, we dealt with the kids, I unpacked, and other shit, it was time to get busy.

This is how I know I’m being (physically) affected by my anti-depressant: Remember back in June, when I got home from my 8 days away for work and I was BEYOND horny? This time it took a bit more effort. But I’m glad I gave it a go. M seems to have really missed me, it feels nice to have been pined for. I was missing him too, a whole lot. Re-reading that post just now reminds me I promised to never leave him for more than 2 days. I don’t like breaking promises.

I don’t know where I’m going with this post anymore. I just thought it was important to write something, and get back in the habit of it. It’s a lot easier to stay motivated when I know people are reading. All you lurkers need to come out of hiding and comment!

stuff that happened

So, yeah. I totally left the last post hanging without an update. Sorry. Sort of. Yeah, we had sex that night, it was nice.

Other things that have happened since:

I went away for a couple of days for work. I got back Saturday afternoon and immediately had a couple of other things to do for work.  I was lamenting not having gone to the gym for a few days, and would you believe that M, after 2+ days of solo parenting, suggests I go before they close at 8? He’s a peach, that one.

So I did, and I came home feeling a lot better. We fucked that night, and I thought it was good. I told M so the next day, and he gives me a look that says, “Reeeealllly? I disagree.” I was sort of baffled. When we talked about it later, he said several things bothered him. He said I complained during it. He said he doesn’t understand why I sometimes need lube now. He said I don’t always orgasm anymore.

All of those things can be explained, but it doesn’t really matter. All that matters is his perception of the fuck, and I tried to reassure him that YES, I was totally into it; YES, I will sometimes need lube/not orgasm now (among the more irritating of my anti-depressant’s side-effects) but that is not a reflection on where my head is at; and I’M SORRY that I complained about the way his thumb was digging into my thigh instead of doing something differently.

We got through it. Monday morning he got a seriously awesome handjob in the shower. Unfortunately I’ve been sick as a dog ever since, but there has been sweetness between us. We snuggled on the couch last night. I really would love to perk up enough to make something happen tonight, but as I shared with Reed earlier I feel like I have elephants sitting on my chest. {I then made a stupid joke about my boobs that fell flat (seewhatIdidthere). I’ve been making weird jokey comments all day it seems, I even gave Natasha a mental image she’d rather not have had, comparing how my butt looked in my very baggy shorts to something slightly repulsive. But then I made up for it by exchanging my shorts that literally fell off me earlier for my yoga pants. I do these things as a public service to my nation and fellow man. M’s not ass-obsessed for nothing, you know.}

This post is bizarre. I think I’ve lost my writing skills. Perhaps if I wrote more often I’d remember how to do it.