Don’t you love it when you stand up for yourself and in the process discover who is merely a passing acquaintance and who is real? Oh, internet, you fickle bitch. I think I know how someone will behave and they surprise me, every time.
There are lots of things that make me think of this, but I’m particularly reminded of this today when I look at my (pitiful) stats, seeing one of my top commentors’ wp identities and wishing someone could wipe her name off the list. A year and a half later and I’m still not fully over getting dumped in a heap by someone I thought was a true friend.
But then, I figure, I am the common denominator here. Must be all my fault.
Oh, sorry. I’m just over here indulging in some negative self-feedback as I spew out a short, non-sexy blog post.
The past week or so has been weird, but things on this end of it now are ok. First I read, mulled over, and responded to this post over at Hyacinth’s blog, which is a reaction to this piece written by Liza, who’s since shared some further discussion on her own site. Because I can’t email people my only avenue to respond to anything is in comment sections… which leads to the next thing. I tried to be creative and ask a question of a fellow blogger through a password protected post (nothing flirty or untoward) which required me sharing some personal info about my job which I categorically do not want to expose here in a public way. He called me out and told me that my methods only make me look more suspicious, and made a lot of assumptions (like that anyone subscribes to my comments – my stats would make anyone who cares about traffic numbers point and laugh). I cried on the inside for 2 days over this – it led to my last post and rattled me for a long time. I felt shamed, and for once, I had nothing to be ashamed about.
There’s just something missing with tone conveyed in typed words. I so wish we could select the right font to express concern, sarcasm, light-heartedness. I’m not good enough at crafting my thoughts to do the things I want to say proper justice. But I’m going back to Liza’s blog to try one more time, since she interprets my criticism of one of the sentiments she expressed as a final goodbye, which is not at all my intention. And then I will say goodbye to the stress all this baloney has caused me since Tuesday.
I had a good weekend. I hope you did, too.